🤔Wait a minute . . . who ARE you???🤔

I'm a product of every decision I've ever made; the crossroads of a million intersecting roads, at one fleeting moment in time; a fan favorite side character in the lives of many; an insignificant speck in the universe. Or an irritating little know-it-all from southwestern Connecticut.

Ever since I was a kid, I would daydream when looking out the window on drives, or riding the bus to school, or wandering around my house. My pacing habit concerned my mom so much that she would make me bounce on her exercise ball instead. Somehow, I instinctively knew not to explain myself. I did not know at the time that not everyone has what I call a "daydream universe". For me, it has always been some background story or character I would make up scenarios for and play out in my head, on a constant loop. These universes grew more elaborate as I grew older, incorporating more characters and situations beyond "this Hello Kitty knockoff is going to summer camp." (somehow, my first daydream oc was an anthropomorphic white cat. I remember her exact outfit to this day. She probably existed from age 5-8). Truthfully, I never put much thought into what these were. Only in recent years did I seriously reflect on how this has always been my method of processing thoughts and situations--if I wanted to understand a life experience I didn't have, just make a character and explore them in the safety of your own mind. I have never been one for (blatant) self-insert. Perhaps that's why getting into the specifics of these ocs feels so cursed.

With such a rich mental landscape, it was only natural that I would begin writing. My best friend at the time had a subscription to a tween girls' magazine with a website tie-in that encouraged girls to share their creativity. I think about that website often. It was called New Moon Girls, and it was an indie magazine run out of Minnesota. Something too niche for Y2K nostalgia youtubers to talk about, but something I know existed. I followed her there and began to write solely because it was a writing website. I always loved creative writing assignments and happily took the chance to do it for fun. Now, when I started, did I do any sort of plotting or character development? Absolutely not, I was 10 and just vomiting words on the paper. What I've preserved of my childhood stories are unintentional comedy that I love to share with my friends. Nevertheless, I caught the bug, and would only pursue it further.

I moved to California in 2009, during the height of the recession. Fortunately for me, it also drove my writing partner there. Em and I met in P.E. class during locker assignment day. California was a strange land where they played pop music at lunch and the Vera Bradley lunch bags that dominated my old middle school were unheard of. Em had moved from Florida, wore tie-dye animal shirts, and was also a fan of Warrior Cats and Percy Jackson. The minute I found that out, we became best friends. One Halloween, we decided that we were going to write a story about our own demigod children. Fifteen years later, we have our own original story that's gonna be REALLY good once we rewrite it with proper intention. She has always pushed me to be a better writer. At the time, I felt that she was the Plot Person, and plots were my weakness. I wanted to be able to contribute one day, so I began to put a bit more thought and intention behind what I was writing. (I would later find out that she thought I was amazing and was slightly intimidated. Which is funny, because at that point she'd read the story I wrote where a woman goes through Navy basic training in 8 hours total). Sometimes, I wonder if I would have stuck with writing so much if we'd never met. I have to believe I would have, but it feels depressing to think about. It certainly wouldn't have been the same.

Our partnership continues to this day. We have managed to write all throughout university, trading our story updates through e-mail. I studied American Sign Language interpretation in undergrad, but that is a whole story in and of itself. I absolutely loved learning about translation and interpretation theory and the language itself, but to put it simply--I could not do the job. Simultaenous interpreting requires one to listen to a message and rearrange it on the spot. My ASL skills were not good enough for this, and my second langauge speaking (or in this case, signing) anxiety prevented me from improving. Even so, I persistently tried to make it work. I did bilingual theatre. I went to comedy shows I pretended to understand. I went to Japan with Deaf students. These experiences enriched my life but did not make me a qualified interpreter. (A lot of things in life are like that). Eventually, I had to admit defeat, and I redirected my passions (and university credits) towards linguistics. I then used this as an excuse to move to Montréal.

Five years later, I am in a similar position again. I am desperately looking for a way to turn my interests and talents into a real career, trying to gain fluency in an additional language (mais je trouve que j'ai moins de l'anxiété cette fois!), while my writing helps me through it all. I've created this website as a place to be unapologetically myself. I don't have a ton of coding experience, but I've been having fun learning here ;) Thanks for stopping by!